Why haven't you posted Kristine? MIRRORS. Mirrors don't lie. You cannot lie on this blog because it is for you and only you. You knew you were giving in. You knew you were robbing time from yourself again, only to see it thrown away. Again.
But tonight you aren't writing to heal - you actually feel very numb. You just laid in bed for the last hour trying to think of how the good outweighs the bad in the relationship that you let yourself fall back into. And you can't think of a single thing. Maybe the good morning and good night phone calls and "I love yous" but those are all and those are comparable to having a gorgeous BMW without insurance. There is nothing backing those statements. There is no chance that if that car crashes that there will be anything to fix it or restore it.
So if the bad outweighs the good and you don't own a house together and you don't have kids together...get the Hell out. Here are some reminders of this weekend the next time you feel that maybe you should give him another chance:
*Dinner
*Shower Door
*Suburban Bumper
*Yelling on 217
*A week of pure hell (bitching, whining) at work
*Serious inability to listen
And the worst, or perhaps the best...the one that makes me not sad, not mad, just over it is - "and the truth is I want to go back to Kansas. I miss my friends there." I have facebook stalked these people and they are nothing to write home about. RR - you miss being "The Man" and you miss not having a SINGLE RESPONSIBILITY in sight.
So enough about him. Kristine you have a lot of stuff to do this week and this summer. You wrote down your goals. Let's get back to what is really important. Your future, the chicas, the job that let's you live your independent life and most importantly, THE PRESENT.
I have been reading all of the "20 things to do in relationships" and "30 things to a better life" and there is a serious consistency in all of those reads. Leave the Negative people behind. If someone cannot treat you the way you deserve - get away from them. This was the weird part - I actually thought I deserved this, I thought it was my turn.
Instead of creating a lot of drama and a big break up that leads him reeling back and forth and pining for you back. Just leave the negativity behind. You don't have the time for people that can't treat you the way you treat them. Yes - you may have hurt RR in the past, but going back through your messages in Facebook and pictures - you can honestly say you gave a whole year of treating him very well. You gave and did not get. You LOVED and it was not returned. Treat others how you want to be treated. Be friendly to make friends. Give Love to be Loved. Keep doing this with the people that reciprocate. Not the ones who don't.
