Day 6 was the height of anxiety so far. I was driving to work thinking I was lucky that he was laid off and that I wouldn't have to see him and then I remembered it was payday. I burst into tears. I knew there was no way he would sneak quietly in, grab his paycheck and be gone.
I decided to hide. I didn't feel like I looked pretty or stylish and I didn't feel confidant in my ability to talk to him. He showed up in the first 15 minutes of work and of course followed me right into the dispatch office to ask a question that could have waited until Mike was back. I answered without ever looking at him and now feel defeated.
I should have looked him in the eye and let him know that he doesn't bother me. He replied, "Cool" to my answer and took off jauntily.
And then my thoughts were taken for the rest of the day. And now it is Day 7 and I need to get back on track.
I found out he deleted Lindsey and Kara off of FB last night which doesn't make a lot of sense unless he absolutely can't stand me and doesn't want to see me whatsoever. This makes me sad. I really thought he would want to follow my happenings from here to there to everywhere he could.
So now it is the weekend. I have some plans that will keep me busy physically but I need to get my mind busy. I will find my sermon notes from last week and read and read and read.
