This morning's post was so pathetic. I am embarrassed and wish I could erase it however what would be the point of this blog if I did that?
I have been seeing the same nail technician for 14 years. 14 years. She is Vietnamese and her name is Tina. She came to America as a teen when her Dad finally got approval to send for his family. I have always known her to be a hard worker. I knew she ran a business, worked for the post office and became a masseuse. Little did I know her plight was nothing compared to mine. In fact, talking to her today made me feel guilty for ever feeling sorry for myself.
Tina and her husband were extremely goal orientated and paying off their house was their main goal. From what I understand it was a beautiful home in Bethany. Her husband had a good job but like I said, they wanted to PAY OFF THEIR HOUSE! I think I remember it being worth 400k??? Anyway they did. Through all of their hard work, they did.
And when they did, they decided to finally try and have a baby. This was in her early 30's. She did not get pregnant. And when she went in to find out why, she discovered she had cancer. Now, she is Vietnamese so understanding where and what kind is difficult however I know she had to have her girly parts that help us have babies removed.
And when she found out that she would be unable to have children and that she had Cancer...something horrible happened. After working her 9 hour day managing her nail salon and then going to masseuse school at night, she came home and the locks on her beautiful home that she had worked her ass off to pay for was locked. All of the doors were locked and the lights were out and her keys would not work.
She called her husband over and over and got no answer. So she went to the only place other than her home she knew to go, her parents home. They let her stay for a few weeks and then politely told her she wasn't welcome anymore and needed to figure out her marriage as divorce was not an option.
She broke into her home, changed the locks and stayed there. Her husband finally came home. He had gone to Vietnam to his new girlfriend whom he had met online. He got his girlfriend pregnant. Tina sold their home. Put all of the profit into an account which he let her have out of guilt. She went to California monthly through a grant for treatment. All the while without support. Not from her parents. Not from her husband. Everyone had left her.
To this day she goes to an American church and not her Vietnamese church because they do not recognize her "separation" from her husband. She told me on Saturday that her clients are her only friends.
Did she lay on her bathroom floor and cry? Did she call her friends and bother them with endless questions of how and why this happened? Did she close her business? Did she stop going to school? Did her cancer get worse? Perhaps she laid on her bathroom floor and cried but "No" is the answer to every other question.
Tina owns her nail salon and is also a masseuse. She gave her "Husband" $10,000 to fix the cleft palate that his baby in Vietnam was born with that he really wants nothing to do with because she is a girl. She overcame her cancer through 5 years of treatment. She bought a small home and lets her brother and family live with her so that she isn't totally alone. She has never officially divorced her husband because it would break her parent's hearts. She is going to school at night to become a nurse. She has adopted a little girl in Vietnam that she talks to almost daily that lives in an orphanage ran by her best friend. She plans to bring her here in 7 years when she is a teenager. She is saving money for that.
I never thought twice about Tina until a couple months ago when I said I wanted to change my appointment so that I could come without the chicas in peace and she refused! She said she wanted to see my girls, that she adored them.
I opened up to Tina after 14 years of seeing her on and off for pedis and manis. That is when she told me her story. I knew bits and pieces. I knew she had fought cancer. I thought she was divorced. I have never seen anyone be more passionate about having dignity and moving on when and if someone doesn't treat you right. She said she will be alone forever before she ever lives with her husband again. She said that her "friends" judged her for not taking him back and for not residing with him and she said she would rather have no friends. She said, "No one can change the past but everyone can start a new beginning".
She said that in the middle of it all she went to mass one morning before the salon opened and asked God, "Are you even there?" Why would you let me have cancer, have my husband and my parents turn their backs on me, not allow me to have children all at once?" Why???? And then out of the blue the same day a client brought her the Footsteps poem where it says God will carry you in your time of need and she said that was all she needed. She said, she went back to mass and said "Just Kidding God, I know you're here ;)"
Imagine how selfish I felt when she said, "At least you have your girls." Tina had no one. And really...still has no one. A worthless ex-husband. Parents who are more or less ashamed. A daughter 84,000 miles away. A church that doesn't relate to her ethnicity. Not even a friend in the world to listen or pat her on the back. Even worse, no little girls to greet her in the morning and tell her how amazing and "Fablious" she looks after her spray tan like I do.
Thank you friends for listening and reading. I think it is time for me to ask Tina out for dinner. Wonder if she likes cheeseburgers.
