I got another phone call Sunday night. Another message telling me that he hoped I was doing well and hoped we would talk soon. I hate these messages. Especially on a Sunday night. If he didn't have time for me on Saturday night why do I have to be his security blanket on a work night? So I ignored it and prayed about it. I prayed to guide my actions. I decided not to ignore.
I could have called but since we all know he can't listen to save his life I figured letting him read would be better. I sent him a message stating that the person that gets his quality time on Saturday night should be the same person that gets his goodnight calls. I said I have been very respectful of his wishes to move on and I would like to do the same so for now, a work relationship is all I would like to have and it does not include goodnight texts or calls.
The text that was returned was surprising to say the least - well to me. My fabulous readers will probably roll their eyes. It said he was sorry that he waited until Sunday to call - he supposedly was giving me time to cool off after being as ass last week. And then he said, "FYI you still have all of my quality time because I thought about you and how I screwed up and how I would have done 84,000 things different to fix us."
So....You would have? You will? You are? You were? You would have IF what? If you didn't have so many other distractions? If I was better? Prettier? Stronger? Younger?
Don't say you would have when you won't and you aren't. Furthermore, don't say you would have when you didn't and nothing stopped you except your own ability to move forward.
And you can all cheer because although the old self would have called him and said, "You would have then what? Do you want to try?" or the old self would have given him some encouragement to further his statement.
But that was one of the 84,000 mistakes. The new self knows that this is not a Valentines Movie and he is not going to fix the "Would Have" and there is no point in taking the reins.
